Text: Genesis 2:18-21, Malachi 2:14, Proverbs 21:1, Ephesians 5:25, I Peter 3:7.
Ministering: Pastor Owolabi J. Olaitan (Regional Overseer, LR7, Ejigbo.)
We shall continue with our series; marriage, relationship and conflict. Before I proceed, I want to state the importance of marriage because when we don’t understand the importance of a thing abuse becomes inevitable.
I pray for somebody here this day, “what is meant for your good will not become a snare unto you, in the mighty name of Jesus”.
In the Book of Genesis chapter 2, reading verses 18 and 19. The Lord purposed that a man should not be alone. The secret of success in life especially when it comes to the area of marriage is understanding of what marriage is all about.
Many people including Christians have a misconception about marriage. Some belief marriage is all about the coming together of a man and a woman. Bearing children and using the woman as a housemaid or engaging her as baby factory.
While others believe marriage is all about friendship. However, scripturally speaking marriage is a covenant. Until we have this understanding about it enjoying the reason God instituted marriage will be difficult.
Marriage is a covenant between God and the couple. When one is to enter into a marriage relationship, it is important to know and to understand that it is a covenant relationship with God.
Marriage can best be described as a triangular relationship. With God at the top then, the husband and the wife at the base. That triangle is what is tying the man, the woman and God together in a covenant. Turn with me into the book of Malachi 2:14, (reading).
When talking about covenant, we are talking about an agreement between two or more people in a relationship which must not be broken. Breaking the covenant of marriage will attract consequences that is why the Bible teaches against divorce.
The covenant also is for a life time, that is why when you are taking the oath of marriage, it is said “till death do us part”. That covenant is for a lifetime. Before you get married, you must be careful. You must analyze it well and count the cost. Marriage comes with huge responsibilities from both parties who are planning to contract it.
It is the covenant with God, first before your partner. God is constant. Everything He has promised before the marriage He will do. God will always fulfill His part of the covenant.
However, you cannot live in disobedience to the covenant that established this marriage and think that prayer can substitute it.
No! This is because God is the one that will answer the prayers. If you don’t treat each other well, that means we are not keeping the covenant of marriage. When we fulfill our obligations towards one another in marriage then God Himself will ensure that everything will work for us in marriage. (reciting Proverbs 21:1).
Whether your spouse is misbehaving or not, you must keep the covenant. For example, a husband that does not sleep at home, but the wife fulfills her part of the covenant that says she must love and submit herself unto him. Owing to this covenant factor, and because God is involved, God knows how to touch man’s heart.
This is what many of us do not know. We would rather take counsel from people who are not believers. They would say “you are the one that is tolerating his excesses, give him fire for fire! His head will correct”.
When you take to their counsel and give fire for fire, the story changes. Initially the man who was coming home twice a week, then suddenly doesn’t show up for two months. This is the consequence of fire for fire counseling.
It is not that you are a fool but because you have an understanding that a union is covenant-based and part of its terms says to submit yourself unto your husband as unto the Lord, and vice-verse.
Sometimes, we will see some men that are gentle and wild women but, the Bible says in Ephesians 5:25 (reciting). Irrespective of her character, you know that it is a covenant contract, and what the Bible says in I Peter 3:7, (reciting). Therefore, you will deal with her with understanding as you are tolerating her excesses and you are taking it to the Lord in prayers.
God knows how to reach out to her. He arrested Paul on his way to Damascus, as we know that the heart of the King is in the heart of the Lord. Indeed, this is one of the things that many of us do not understand about marriage and this is the reason why abuse is becoming alarming in our generation even in Christian marriages.
In this teaching, we will be talking about the roles of the husband in marriage. The Bible makes us understand that husbands play a major role in marriage. The role of the husband is as important as that of the wife, there are set duties and responsibilities for the husband and wife in marriage, and understanding these responsibilities and duties help in making things easier.
Prior to this time, the husband is saddled with the responsibility of providing for the family. He is known as the breadwinner and the woman is known to be a caregiver. Husbands will go about, source for funds, and provide for the family.
That has not changed but based on the reality in our world today, women most times help out. Sometimes the wife shares 50/50 in the responsibilities, sometimes it is 70/30, sometimes 60/40 while in some places it is 100/0. All in all, we need to understand our unique relationship. (reciting Amos 3:3).
The word husband has its root in 2 English words. ‘house’ and ‘band’ as in rubber band. These two words were brought together and became what we call husband, which implies a person that holds a house together.
Prophetic Declaration
I am praying for somebody in this gathering, the power that wants your home to scatter by this morning’s encounter let the ground open and swallow them, in Jesus’ name.
I am praying again for somebody here, you will not lose your headship, in the name of Jesus.
The role of man in marriage are as follows;
First, to protect his wife. As a man, we are to protect our marriage especially if the marriage is undergoing stress and challenges such as delay in conception. With both families mounting pressure on you, you need to stand tall and protect your wife. Let them understand that it is God that gives children and not in the power of any man.
We are to protect her in every ramification. We to protect her from being attacked by all sorts of danger either physical, mental, emotional or psychological. Your wife must feel that she is secure being with you. Avoid pushing your wife into family harassment, because she is part of your body.
I am praying for a man and a woman, that the wisdom required to live and lead a successful marriage by this morning’s encounter receive, in the mighty name of Jesus.
Second, is to love your wife unconditionally. The foundation of marriage is love and trust. These two qualities go together. Loving your wife as a man, is your primary responsibility. You must satisfy your wife emotionally by assuring her that you love her and respect her. You value her, not just verbally, it must be seen and demonstrated.
You would not see the woman you love, stressing herself to death and folding your arms. You will not talk to her anyhow in the public, you will wait until you get home then you can display your anger.
When you say you respect and love your woman and you talk to her like an housemaid in public, threatening her and withdrawing everything she has access to, such husband can be described as a baby husband. They are numerous and these categories can be identified their reactions.
Thirdly, you must lead. The husband has always been the leader in the family, although the duties differ but there are responsibilities in the home that a man must not shy away from, such as leading in the family altar.
Avoid shifting the responsibility to the wife. The husband is the pastor in every home. He is the priest at the prayer altar. You should take charge of your responsibilities. You should also take part in the house chores responsibilities, but ensure that you are an exemplary leader.
Fourthly, the man must be patient with the wife, because the Bible says we should deal with women as weaker vessels. Dealing with them as a weaker vessel, affords us to be blessed from the Lord.
Your wife is an individual, she will have certain behavior and thoughts of her own. Sometimes you might not both be on the same page, at that point you need to be patient with her. Many times, the woman needs to be pampered in order to understand what we need to communicate.
Fifthly, treat your wife well; reverence her in a public place. The Bibles say in the Book of I Peter 1:7 (reading) treat your wife like a goddess. When treating your wife like a goddess, you will obtain the favor that comes with it, (reciting Proverbs 18:22).
The reason many are praying but their prayers are being hindered is because they do not treat their wives well. Imagine a woman that stood by you when you were nobody when there was pressure against your marriage from her end but, through intuition, she knew you had a future. She stayed by you and supported you until you succeeded. That same woman is who you don’t want to see and hear her voice. You threaten to divorce her, now calling her a witch.
Prophetic Declaration
I pray for you that by this encounter, you will go back and do the right thing in the mighty name of Jesus. May you not go back to square one in the name of Jesus.
I pray for you as I am praying for myself, that by this morning encounter the grace not to fail in our responsibility, come upon us, in the mighty name of Jesus.
Are you in this morning service, you do not love your wife. You abuse her and rain curses on her every day, you engage in physical abuse and beat her like a punching bag. You do not have patience with her neither do you listen to her.
You do not protect your wife, you are just there and you permit all kinds of things to come to her, you have failed in the covenant of marriage, because this covenant is what gives men these responsibilities that we are talking about in marriage.
God is not condemning anyone here this day, but He is calling unto us to review our ways and repent. When you play your role in this contract, you do not need to ask for some blessings. They will come on their own accord because you are conscious of this covenant you do not want to break it.
The Lord is asking us this day to review our ways. Talk to Him, because He has brought us here to help us and He wants our marriages to work. We will continue some other time.